Ok so most fo you know that I am 1st couselor in the YW's in my ward.. Well I am not complaining or anything about it because I know that I was called by our Heavenly Father . And I know that he put me there for a reason. And I am learning so much! and I do love my calling, BUT! Not when the girls are disrespectful! (Charlotte, I hope you don't mind me venting) maybe I am being a snot about it or whatever but last night the girls were crazy!! I am sure none of them read my blog so I am just going to let it out. So we had YW's at my house because the girls wanted to learn how to make my strawberry cupcakes that I make and they decided the activity not the leaders so I was all for it. Well when they all got to my house they were so hyper and not listening or anything, in a way it hurt my feelings because I had prepared the ingrediants and shared my house. I was about to pull my hair out by the end of the night and I am sure Charlotte was too. HAHA. We ended YW's early because we probably had it with thier hyperness and craziness. BUT my point is that this is not the first time I have felt them being disrespectful. Whenever we try to teach a lesson I feel like they don't want to it so they talk about something that is completly off the subject. I don't remember doing this at all in YW's when I was growing up. (Jenny, was I like that in YW's, you were my leader was I disrespectful?) So,I am asking for some help? I have been praying but I would like some input. I feel as though the reason for them not treating me and Charlotte who is the yw's pres. is because we are 23 and 24 yrs old and they all know we were in YW's 5 or 6 yrs ago. But how do we as leaders show them that we are leaders and because of our age we need the respect that we need. Does that make sense? I know I am rambling on and on. But it can be so frusterating. I try to a leader who isn't mean or anything and I don't want to yell at them or anything but I feel like I need to do something in order for them to listen to us. Am I being a pushover? do I have "please do not listen to me I am only 23 yrs old and feel like I was just in YW's therefore walk all over me?" on my forhead?! Arggg.. Am i just being dumb? Or taking things to heart? I know they are young but still we are thier leaders! Ok I am done venting.
P.S sorry charlotte I had to vent and get feedback from my friends about this I hope you don't mind me venting like this. I do LOVE MY CALLING!
6 comments:
I completely understand where you're coming from. It is really easy to take things like that personally and to heart. In my calling (primary chorister) I'll get remarks like "this is so boring" and it hurts. When you spend time in preparing and then they act like that it's really easy to be upset and sad. But. . . you will be blessed and judged for your own actions and hard work. You can only do so much to help these girls. It is up to them to be teachable and to learn from you. Every calling has its ups and downs, just don't forget the ups! Maybe you can have a lesson on respect in your next combined lesson. Go to LDS.org and look for these talks/messages: Ensign 2000 May "Future Leader" by Elder Harold G. Hillam and Friend 1995 Oct "Respect for others" by Elder Loren C. Dunn. Good luck and keep praying, it will come to you what you need to do.
Poor Rhonda!! I feel your pain, even though I am don't have the same calling I know what you mean because I felt that way with the 8-11 year old girls!!! Yea, I found that when I threatened not to hold another activity until they listened and were still for like 5 seconds, then things got better. Isn't it just great to vent!?!? We miss you guys!!
Hey there! Okay so do you remember that I was put into YW's right after I graduated from YW? It was really hard, especially since my younger sister was still there and I was now her leader. I don't know if you remember but I still liked to have a good time but I also became serious when I needed to be. And there were times that I had to have a talk with you all (and no ronda were not a problem at all, you were so quiet, it was the others) and I would sit down and just tell the YW what was up. The conversation went somewhat like this, "Hey guys come here for a second, (I'd usually start asking about them and get them on a level where we were in a conversation mode) I need to ask a favor from you all, I know that I like to have fun and you do to but there are times where the fun stops for a minute and we need to show respect for those who are in charge of the activity or lesson. I love how much fun you like to have with me, but when I am teaching you or having you over for an activity I ask that you show me some respect and courtesy when it is my turn for the lesson or activity." Most of the time it got their attention. You have to be firm with rules and maybe for a lesson you can choose one on respect and go over some rules and remind them of the rules when they misbehave or act disrespectful. Another great tool is to lead by example. So if the girls plan an activity, maybe take it a step further and have them lead the entire thing. Meaning they are in charge the whole night from start to finish and as the other girls are acting out the one who is in charge will see what it is like, but you and your leaders are there to tell them in front of the one in charge to be respectful while it is her turn. I was in YW's for a long time and was called as the First counselor for 2 years in our old ward in Provo. It is hard, because they just want to have fun but you have to be firm sometimes and just be straight up front with them and tell them when they are out of line. You don't need to harp on them, but be loving and stern, if that makes sense, because you don't want to push them away, but believe me you will earn the respect by being this way to.
Everyone has great suggestions here! I think Sister Call made a good point. Put the girls in charge of a whole activity and see how they feel when they're in charge. I also can't help but think of when President Monson's primary teacher asked him to help her out by keeping everyone on task. He said he later realized he was the most roudy of them. If you find either one of them that is an instigator of disrespect, or use the yw president as "special helpers". Youth usually look to their peers for examples and if you use them, it might help. You're doing great, and you will be blessed for your own works like Heather said. I'll pray for you.
I think that the lesson you gave on Sunday was wonderful. Sometimes things just need to be said. Never feel bad about venting about our girls. They were being very disrespectful. Just because we vent about them doesn't mean we don't love them and our calling. Thanks for your lesson I love working with you to help these girls learn and grow in the gospel.
Have a good week.
Hey Ronda! I agree..it is really hard to even be motivated when all you get is disrespect...I am sure you are doing an awesome job and they should appreciate what you do! Everyone gave you lots of good suggestgions...I was kind of thinking what Heather was thinking...you should give a lesson about disrespect and hopefully they will get a clue...there is nothing wrong with the cold hard truth either...at some point you may just have to tell them that you feel disrespected and have a good talk about it...doesn't mean you have to act angry with them but it won't beat things around the bush! You rock though so keep up your good work! That would be a super hard calling!
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